For the past couple years on this blog, I’ve been sharing my picks for 21 of the 24 categories of the Academy Awards (I always leave out Best Live Action Short, Best Animated Short and Best Short Documentary due to my inability to access any of these films online). Fortunately for the both of you, this year will be no different! Yessir, lady and gent, for my first post of 2016, I’ll be sharing my picks for the 2016 Academy Awards. Similar to what I did in 2014 and 2015, I’ll be including my “runner-up” (i.e. nominee that I think has a huge chance of snatching the Oscar from the respective “pick”). And similar to 2015, this post is yet another excuse for me to post pictures (with a music video added into the mix to liven things up) instead of actually writing my thoughts on each and every nominee mentioned here.
And in case you were wondering….YES, I have seen all the movies on this list…..Oh wait. No. Actually there’s ONE film on the list that I have NOT seen (GASP!) but I’ll get to that later. Anyhoo, without further ado, sit back, relax, have your favourite torrent client and web search engine ready (You goddamn pirate, you!), and enjoy my Oscar picks of 2016. Enjoy!
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: “Bridge of Spies”
Runner-up: “Ex Machina”
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: “The Martian”
Runner-up: “The Big Short”
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS, BEST SOUND MIXING & BEST SOUND EDITING:
“Mad Max: Fury Road”
Runner-up for Visual Effects: “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”
Runner-up for Sound Mixing & Sound Editing: “The Revenant”
BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN: “Mad Max: Fury Road”
Runner-up: “The Danish Girl”
BEST ORIGINAL SONG: “Earned It” – (that song from) “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
For a movie that promised to rise to the occasion, but wound up being limp (Ha! See what I did there??), we did get a marginally decent (in my opinion) song from The Weeknd (which won a Grammy for Best R&B Performance last week). And for better or worse, “Earned It” is the only thing worth remembering from “Fifty Shades of Bullshit”- which is saying a fucking lot!
Anyhoo, MUSIC VIDEO TIME!!!
Runner-up: “Writing’s On The Wall” – (that song from) “Spectre”
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE: “The Hateful Eight”
Runner-up: “Bridge of Spies”
BEST MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING, or Why is this still a category? I mean, who gives a shit about best mascara and wigs?! Just saying, yo:
“Mad Max: Fury Road” (if I had to pick)
Runner-up: “The Revenant”
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: “Son of Saul”.
Now this is the film I have not seen, simply because I couldn’t find a screener for it, let alone a theater that ran the movie, prior to the publishing of this blogpost. However, based on the TON of praise this Hungarian war drama received after its premiere at Cannes last year (if anything else), “Son of Saul” has a ridiculously huge chance of taking the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film. If not, then I think my runner-up pick – which I did see and do recommend you see – will take home the award.
BEST FILM EDITING: “The Revenant”
Runner-up: “The Big Short”
BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: “The Look of Silence”. While his 2012 film “The Act of Killing” (which was my pick for Best Documentary Feature back in 2013, and still remains one of the most harrowing movies I’ve ever seen) hit me repeatedly in the gut, Joshua Oppenheimer’s compelling, oftentimes solemn and equally powerful follow-up “The Look of Silence” hit me in the heart. For years, documentary features with grim subject matter have been nominated by the Academy, but unfortunately, they’ve never won. And I have a strong feeling that this movie – which is actually more accessible than “The Act of Killing” – will lose to my runner-up pick. In any case, I’m still rooting for “The Look of Silence” to win on Sunday, and regardless of whether it wins or not, this is still a film that’s DEFINITELY worth seeing!
BEST COSTUME DESIGN: “Mad Max: Fury Road”
Runner-up: “The Revenant”
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: “The Revenant”
Runner-up: “Sicario”. It’s Roger Deakins vs. Emmanuel Lubeski for the World Heavyweight Championship…..OF CINEMATOGRAPHY!!
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE: “Inside Out”
Runner-up: There is no runner-up. “Inside Out” WILL win the Oscar for Best Animated Feature! “Animalisa”, “Boy meets World”, “Marnie wasn’t There” and “Shaun the Shit” ain’t got a keyframe on Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust. Oh, and Riley, because without her, these emotions wouldn’t exist. Then again, they could’ve been in someone else’s head instead of Riley’s.
Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh, right! Oscars! Moving along…..
BEST DIRECTOR: Alejandro González Iñárritu – “The Revenant”. Yes, I’m rooting for the man who won Best Director LAST YEAR for the Best Picture winner “Birdman”. Winning the Best Director Oscar TWO YEARS in a row will be a hard pill to swallow for some people, but you have to admit, Iñárritu and his team outdid themselves with “The Revenant”. And that deserves credit.
Runner-up: George Miller – “Mad Max: Fury Road”. If I could wish on a shooting star, I’d wish that a 70-year-old filmmaker who went out of his way to make one of the most unabashedly BADASS movies ever created (and my pick for Best Movie of 2015, in case you were wondering) could win such a prestigious award. But alas, a wish is only a wish. *SIGH*
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:
‘Mama Bear’ – “The Revenant”
I’m just playing! My real pick is…
Kate Winslet – “Steve Jobs”. Anyone who can put up with Steve Jobs’ (Michael Fassbender) narcissism, and put him in his place when necessary, deserves an Oscar in my book!
Runner-up: Rooney Mara – “Carol”
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR – Sylvester Stallone – “Creed”
Runner-up: Once again, THERE IS NO RUNNER-UP! This is Stallone’s award! He is going to win the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor and no one….and I mean no one….not even Batman (Christian Bale), Bane (Tom Hardy), Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) and that guy (Mark Rylance) who played the villain in that movie with Sean Penn…. “The Gunman”, I think it’s called….is going to stop him! And if he doesn’t win, then that means we get another “Expendables” movie. Do you want another “Expendables” movie?? No, you don’t, folks. No, you don’t.
BEST ACTRESS – Cate Blanchett – “Carol”
Runner-up: Brie Larson – “Room”
BEST ACTOR: Leonardo DiCaprio – “The Revenant”. No Best Actor nominee this year had people rooting for him to win more than Mr. Jack Dawson himself, Leo DiCaprio. And yes, I am one of theoe people. He’s been putting out great roles for years, but with “The Revenant”, he literally pushed himself physically and emotionally to the limit. Call it overrated (“Oh, all he just did was groan and grunt for two hours. Any other actor coulda done that shit. He was way better in Romeo + Juliet ‘cuz he was talking……Shakespearese or whatever you call that language”) but his performance in this movie is nothing short of incredible. What more can I say? Leonardo DiCaprio FOR THE WIN!!
Runner-up: Matt Damon – “The Martian”. If for some godforsaken reason, Leo doesn’t win, then I have a sneaky suspicion that his co-star from “The Departed” will take home the award.
SIDE NOTE: Imagine if both Leo and Kate win their respective Oscars on Sunday. That would be like the 1998 Academy Awards all over again, except they won’t be winning for “Titanic”, they would have actually won Oscars on the same night, there’s no James Cameron, and the Best Picture Oscar would go to……
See my shooting star wish above. What I really meant to say was…
Best Picture: My top 3 picks for the Best Picture Oscar are “The Revenant”, “Bridge of Spies” and yes, “Mad Max: Fury Road”. But I really think that the Academy will give its much-coveted award to Alejandro Iñárritu’s latest masterpiece”The Revenant”. Brutal and beautiful, grim and gorgeous, unflinching and unforgettable, this is Alejandro Iñárritu’s most ambitious film to date and well-deserving of the Academy Award for Best Picture.
So what are your thoughts on my Oscar picks? Do you agree with all, some or at least one of them? Do you think this is DiCaprio’s year to shine or do you think he’ll be snubbed again? Do you think this is Stallone’s year to shine or will he have to do a fifth “Rambo” movie to get his hands on an actual Oscar? Which Oscar snub is still pissing you off? (Mine is Ridley Scott for “The Martian”. Golden Globe aside, the guy should have nominated for Best Director!) Will you be watching the Oscars on Sunday, or will you be avoiding it like your Facebook wall after an episode of “The Walking Dead” airs? Or will you be periodically checking your Facebook wall on Sunday night – or Monday morning, depending on how much of a shit you actually give – to see if your friends posted anything related to the Oscars?And of course, who do you think will be going home with an Academy Award (earned, not stolen). Comment below, and don’t forget to like and share this post! Until next time, folks.